#4. Pentecostal introverting

Pentecostals are exuberant in worship. Introverts prefer quiet. I grew up an introvert in a Pentecostal church. It had its challenges!

How people express their worship to God varies and that’s okay. Generally, style of worship is less of an issue than substance. What I learned in my small Hoosier church was solid and biblically grounded. Still, as I grew older, I realized that expressive Pentecostal worship didn’t fit with how I was made.

Back then there was little information about introverts and extroverts. In a Pentecostal setting, being too quiet can be suspect. To some it meant that you lacked boldness. Being expressive was wrongly equated to holiness.

I was filled with the Spirit, sought faithfully to serve the Lord, spent time in the Bible, and was confident I was born again. I wasn’t perfect but I knew I was on the right path. Still, getting “those” looks from others made me feel self-conscious. It was awkward.

Finally, in the 1980s and 90s articles began to appear explaining the difference between introverts and extroverts. I began to encounter personality assessments such as Myers-Briggs and DISC. Then in 2009, Adam McHugh’s watershed book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture, appeared. It was freeing to learn about personality distinctions. I could worship quietly and not worry about what others thought.

If you’re an introvert in a Pentecostal or Charismatic setting and feel viewed as not-in-a-good-way peculiar, keep the following in mind:

1. It’s okay to be who God made you. In his book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes about personality stating, “[God] created each of us with a unique combination of personality traits. God made introverts and extroverts.... There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ temperament .... Your personality will affect how and where you use your spiritual gifts.... [W]hen you are forced to [behave] in a manner that is ‘out of character’ for your temperament, it creates tension and discomfort, and produces less than the best results.’” The temperament God gave you is good!

2. Ecstatic behavior isn’t a measure of godliness. When Elijah confronted the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18), he wasn’t the one who was loud. For hours, the prophets of Baal shouted and raved. Nothing happened. Finally Elijah prayed simply, “Let it be known that you are God in Israel!” Then the fire fell. Godliness comes from a pure heart, not rowdy behavior.

3. Volume isn’t an indication of holiness. When God revealed himself to Elijah, there was wind, an earthquake, and fire (1 Kings 19). God was in none of these. Instead, he came to Elijah as a still small voice. Quiet adoration and silent worship is biblical. In fact, it’s when we’re quiet that we can best hear him speaking to us.

Honoring God with your worship is to do so within the parameters of the personality God gave you. The bottom-line is that it’s perfectly okay to be an introvert and a Pentecostal or Charismatic believer.

 

Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.

#3. Relishing Thanksgiving gatherings

Thanksgiving marks the start of a series of special holiday celebrations for Christians. For those of us who are introverts, while holidays are fun, they can also be very stressful. Especially when it comes to gatherings.

There’s a great meme that circulates on social media from time to time. In the first panel, above the head of a sad man (extrovert) the thought bubble reads, “I’m staying in tonight.” In the second panel, a smiling man (introvert) thinks, “I’m staying in tonight!”

Generally, introverts prefer solitude (staying in) as opposed to mixing it up socially (going out). But any sense of dread has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not we like the people we will be around. Rather, it has to do with the energy drain socializing has on us mentally and emotionally. Even with family.

For introverts who’ve been invited to a holiday gathering, here are some tips for joyfully surviving them:

1. Learn about the event. Get as much information about the party as possible. Information is an introvert’s friend. Learning what’s going to happen and who is going to be there ahead of time helps us be mentally ready. Visualizing the event in a positive way ahead of time can reset our expectations.

2. Rest before you go. Don’t head to a gathering tired or frazzled. Take a nap if there’s time. Take a shower and “restart” your day. Be refreshed when you head out the door. Even if it means you’ll be a little late, don’t rush from work to a gathering. If all you can do is sit quietly in your car for ten minutes before heading in, do it. Take time to let the day settle.

3. Be positive about what will happen. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the gathering, be eager to see people you love. Look forward to enjoying one-on-one time with special friends and relatives. Build anticipation about enjoying good food. Think about how nice it will be when you are home later.

4. Plan ahead who to engage with. If you know who will be at the gathering, think about those you really want to connect with. Find them and focus on them. If they are also an introvert, they will welcome the companionship. Feel free to be an observer of games or activities instead of participating. It’s okay to step outside for a couple of minutes to reset.

5. Check the exits. Yes, know where the exits are and feel free to leave once you’ve reached your maximum energy expenditure. Thank the host, quietly, and slip out. It’s okay to go without spending another hour saying good bye to everyone. Leave that to the extroverts!

6. Be thankful! Thank God that he made you as you are to be included as part of the body of Christ. Thank God that you are able to enjoy relationship with those who are different from you. Thank God for the restorative after-party power of solitude and sleep.

 

Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.

#2. Introvert essentials

Being an introvert is not a disease or a disability. It’s not about being shy or lacking boldness. It is about how you were made to be by a loving God. How he made you is very good, introvert or extrovert. It seems pretty clear that God determined both personality types are needed in his kingdom on earth.

But what does it mean to be an introvert or an extrovert?

Twenty years ago, a landmark article by Jonathan Rauch appeared in The Atlantic titled “Caring for Your Introvert.” The feedback from this article was “overwhelming.” The often disregarded introvert giant had awakened and was stirring.

Even though the idea of introverts and extroverts had been discussed in psychological literature since at least the early 1900s, being validated and accepted as an introvert was still a fairly new cultural concept at the turn of the century.

Introverts, in general, are more sensitive to all manner of external stimuli (environment), they prefer solitude to crowds (energy), and think deeply and slowly (focus).

Let’s look briefly at each of these three areas:

Energy. It seems to be well known that extroverts are energized in crowds and introverts are energized alone. Still, most introverts can adroitly navigate the interaction requirements of a career during the work day. At home at night we unplug and shutdown. The fallacies here are believing that introverts don’t ever like to be around people and that this is the only marker of an introvert. Neither is true. Introverts enjoy being with others, but aren’t fond of noisy crowds. There are many characteristics that define an introvert.

Environment. The worst type of office for an introvert to endure is an open office--layouts where everyone can see and hear each other. Recovering from interruptions takes minutes, not seconds. Any place with multiple conversations happening, where the lights are bright, or the music is loud can be overload for introverts. The reason, in short, is that our brains are way more active than an extrovert’s brain. We’re not smarter, but we process information very differently in a way that literally burns up more energy. Too much stimulation (sight, sound, scents, etc.) can be overwhelming.

Focus. Introverts mull. Often in meetings, by the time we form a comment or question, the discussion has already moved ahead several agenda items. Why? Introverts tend to be intricate thinkers. We carefully weigh things mentally. When we share, it’s important that what we share is meaningful and accurate. This can be a liability in fast-moving meetings populated with a lot of extroverts. Brainstorming sessions are the worst! Even after the meeting, we are still mulling. As Dr. Marti Laney writes in her book The Introvert Advantage, “long after they have taken in the information, [introverts] are still munching and crunching it--a little like cows chewing their cud.”

These are mere glimpses into a few of the fascinating elements that make up an introvert. In future columns, we’ll look at each characteristic in more detail.

 

Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.

#1. Welcome dear silent saints!

Being an introvert has its challenges.

I am a card-carrying introvert. My business cards carry the tagline: #Christian #Introvert #Writer. Being a Christian is the foundation of who am I. Being an introvert is how I am. And writing is what I do.

Growing up in a small Hoosier church, I was saved “early and often.” Every Sunday as a small boy in children’s church, we were asked if we wanted to accept Jesus into our hearts. Not fully understanding all that entailed but not wanting to take any chances, I said yes every week.

The church I grew up in was Pentecostal. While I loved my church and the people in it -- most of whom were relatives -- I always felt a little off, especially as I moved into my teens. Pentecostals tend to be rowdy folks, which is fine. But my leanings were more toward quiet worship.

As I grew and matured in my faith, coming to a clearer understanding of what a Christian is, I also began to be aware of how I was made. “Fearfully and wonderfully” was a good starting place, but I needed more information.

Everyone in my family -- mom, dad, sis, and me -- were all deeply involved in our church. Beginning in junior high, I was involved in our youth group, taught a younger-than-me boys Sunday school class, sang in the choir, and did other typical small church stuff.

I really loved being in my room reading a good book. Being alone and quiet was glorious. But, being in a group of people at church was great, too. Mostly. What caused me consternation was the exuberant and vocal worship. I have no problem with most Pentecostal or Charismatic worship. Substance is more important than style. Still, I wasn’t comfortable praying out loud or waving my arms in the air. More than once teen-me wondered, “What’s wrong with me?”

In her book, The Powerful Purpose of Introverts, adult Holly Gerth asked herself the same question! She explains how, when she enters her church, she feels “like a drowning woman, lost in a sea of sound.” To manage the experience, she wears ear plugs and sips tea that she brought “known for its calming qualities.” She writes, “Why does everyone else enjoy the loud music, feel eager to join a group and go on another retreat? Don’t I love God? Don’t I love his people?”

I know this feeling. She’s an introvert, just as I am.

Introverts are wired differently. We’re more sensitive to sounds, lights, scents, and all manner of external stimuli that others find rousing and energizing. We prefer solitude to crowds. We think deeply and slowly. For many of us, writing is our preferred form of communication.

Weekly in this column (now a blog), I’ll share from my experience as a Christian introvert. We’ll explore the world of introverts, examine why we are different, discover ways to manage and thrive, and learn that it’s very okay to be how God has made us.

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Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.