#25. Introvert countenance, or The face God gave me

It’s not unusual for someone to ask me some variation of the question, “What’s wrong?” Frequently their concern comes from looking at my face. My “resting introvert face” you could call it. Or, as I like to say, it’s the face God gave me!

I don’t smile a lot. At least not those big toothy grins the portrait photographers try to coax out of us. It’s not that I don’t countenance jocularity, just that my smile is usually more of a Mona Lisa enigmatic expression. Looking back over photos of me at various ages, that’s the smile you’ll see most. With some exceptions.

Given that introverts are often lost in thought, our faces can tend to go blank-ish. Or even reflect whatever we’re mentally mulling over. As a result people look at us and assume there must be something wrong!

Nope. Not at all. In fact it’s a little annoying to be asked this question so often. But I get it that it’s hard for others to understand this is just how introverts look when we are perfectly content.

In addition to the “What’s wrong?” question, the “What are you thinking?” query pops up a lot. Generally this one leaves us looking stunned and perplexed. We aren’t sure how to answer the question and so freeze hoping that if we don’t move the questioner will just go away.

What we are thinking is complicated! And it’s seldom about one thing or even about anything clearly defined. To talk about what we’re thinking can interrupt our thinking and we are loathe to do that!

An introvert’s head is never quiet. Let me give you a little glimpse into the mind of an introvert that can yield the “resting introvert face”:

•  Mulling – It’s easy for something to catch our attention and send us into a sort of reverie. It could be a line from a book we’re reading, a scripture verse from our devotional time, something happening outside the window, an idea for an article or poem, or something the pastor said in his sermon. Anything we are seeing or hearing can trigger deep, meandering thought. Creative types tend to be this way as well. Introvert creatives amp it up a bit.

• Sorting – Dealing with the normal to-dos of life or even working on a project can lead to a need to sort things out, to identify priorities, to get the ducks aligned. It’s like managing a mental whiteboard with magnetic cards on which tasks or other information appears. We’re constantly moving the mental magnetic cards around into new arrangements as circumstances shift and new information arrives.

• Recalling – This can be pleasant or not so much so. Most people enjoy recalling pleasant moments from their past. For introverts, what often comes to mind, sometimes almost intrusively, are those moments we’d like to forget. For instance, that time in 1976 when we waved at a person we thought was a friend but it was a stranger and we had to pretend we actually knew them when they asked who we were and we felt so foolish and stupid and are re-experiencing those discomfiting emotions even now. Introverts are a little like elephants in this regard. We seldom forget a mistake, misstep, or embarrassing blunder.

• Processing – This is kind of like more intentional mulling combined with sorting usually occurring in real time. It happens a lot when taking in information during a meeting. We’re trying to understand what’s being said while evaluating it against our experience and knowledge, and at the same time form a response that makes sense and will be useful. Usually the response comes to mind about a half-dozen more agenda items into the meeting. And, yes, we’re also trying to process those other agenda items as well. When an introvert speaks up in a meeting, it’s never “off the top” of their head; it’s coming from much deeper.
  
  
• Solving – We're faced with a problem or something needing repair, etc. and are mentally engaged in running various scenarios to find the solution or best approach. It may take days but we'll get to the fix eventually.
  

While we’re quiet on the outside, the inside of an introvert’s head can be a very noisy place. Our faces may seem passive or disinterested, but our hearts and minds are fully engaged. And we’re fine with that. So the answer to the question “What’s wrong?” truly is “Nothing.” Usually.

 

Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.