The common fallacy that often mischaracterizes introverts is that we don’t like to be around people. That we just want to be alone all the time. Not so! For all followers of Jesus, community is necessary. Eugene Peterson, writing in his book Reversed Thunder, states, “A believing community is the context for the life of faith.”
In fact, in the early church, when a new epistle arrived, Peterson explains, that taking the scroll to “read in the privacy of their own rooms is not for a moment imagined.” The epistles were read out loud and discussed in community with everyone gathered together.
While introverts generally enjoy being around others, being alone is also very comfortable. The social media challenges that pop up now and then, asking if you could live on a desert island for a month for a million dollars is a no-brainer for us! Of course we could. And for free.
So, it’s important for us to manage our alone time, ensuring we mix it up with our fellow believers regularly.
In Introverts in the Church (2nd ed.), Adam McHugh writes, “It’s in community that we learn how to love, how to serve, how to listen, how to forgive.” And the oft quoted verse, Hebrews 10:25, cautions “do not forsake assembling together.”
How do we do this? By being intentional about regularly getting together with other believers. Here are four ways to accomplish this.
Weekly church. Sundays are important. This is the Lord’s Day, and we are most glad in it when we are with our brothers and sisters at church. In church we hear the word of God, worship, learn, and sing together. The idea of “assembling” mentioned in Hebrews holds a double meaning. Individually, the pressures of the work week can make us feel disassembled spiritually and scattered emotionally. Assembling with the body on Sundays is a good way to reassemble our own lives. Wholeness is found in fellowship. And fellowship is best when it’s in-person. Watching a service online is fine now and then. But it’s not the same as being together with the body of Christ. All who are physically able need to get out of the house and into church on Sunday.
Small groups. While seeing everyone on Sundays is great, small groups allow for more intimacy. It’s in a small group that we can really get to know a few others, as well as let ourselves be known. It’s in a small group where questions lingering from the Sunday sermon can be answered. Where you can engage in deeper conversations about faith and the Bible. Where vital relationships can be established and nurtured. Small groups don’t have to be big or formal programs. Years ago, I was invited to hang out weekly with three other men. The four of us met at a local Starbucks to share what was happening in our lives, talk about life, and pray for one another. Some weeks, because of commitments, only two of us made it. It was exactly what I needed during that time in my life. If you can’t find a group to be part of, find a couple of “kindred spirits” and start your own group.
Service. Serving is essential for good spiritual health. When we accept Christ, the Holy Spirit imparts to everyone at least one spiritual gift. The gifts are meant for the building up of the body of Christ. Serving can be as simple as sending encouraging notes, or more intense such as teaching a weekly Sunday school class. For example, my wife and I have only been attending our current church for about a year. As we attended each Sunday, we listened as needs were mentioned, attended a Sunday connect group, and got to know as many people as we could. Now, my wife (the extrovert) is helping in children's and women’s ministry. I (the introvert) am writing sermon discussion guides as well as helping in men’s ministry and our Sunday connect group. And we are hosting and leading a weekly small group in our home. There are a million and one ways to serve. Find at least one thing you can do and do it for the glory of the Lord.
Friends. A great way for an introvert to grow is to make an extrovert friend. Where introverts want to slow things down, extroverts tend to be full speed ahead. Getting together can be a good way to even out the extremes. Extroverts can learn the value of solitude and meditation on the Word from introverts. Introverts can become more understanding of and patient with extroverts by hanging out together. But we all need someone we can turn to for advice, encouragement, and accountability. Introverts need at least one close friend they can see on a regular basis.
The bottom line for we introverts is that we need others in our lives and we need to leave home now and then to connect with those others. Peterson cautions, “The gospel is never for individuals, but always for people. Sin fragments us, separates us, and sentences us to solitary confinement. Gospel restores us, unites us, and sets us in community.”
We only “get it together” when we are together.
Agree? Disagree? Love it? Hate it? Have a question about this blog or this post? Email me at Stephen@QuietlyFaithful.com or leave a comment below. Share your story about being a Christian introvert or let me know a specific topic you’d like to see addressed.
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